Greetings!

It’s a rather bleaky [as we say here in Jamaica] Monday, mirroring I suppose, the way many of us are feeling at this time. The relentless persistence with which life seems to hurl problems at us, is surpassed perhaps only by our penchant for giving up the fight in mid-stream. This tendency not to stay the course makes it difficult to see, beyond the present gloom, the ever so faint rainbow, amidst skies that seem to get bluer with every blink of the eye. This morning, I was challenged yet again during my time in devotion/meditation, concerning the need to stay the course with God; to persevere in praying always trusting that God will make a way. The Prayer of Approach used in the devotional Lectio 365 quoted Augustine of Hippo, whose words resonate, deeply in my soul…

Grant me, even me, my dearest Lord, to know you, and love you, and rejoice in you. Let the love of you grow every day more and more in me, that my joy may be full in you.

As I pondered the prayer, I was reminded of another devotional challenge I encountered in the week past; it posed a very pertinent question, one I believe you can ponder with me as we stare with unbridled honesty into our lives via lens wiped clean…buffed to crystal brilliance by the grace of the Holy Spirit, to answer the question…What would God say concerning you, if He were to give a written testimonial of the person you are?

Yes siree! I am still pondering that question for although I would love for my answer to be akin to a scene from an un-spoilt section of beautiful Portland, where the pristine beauty of the landscape, a gently rolling stream and flowers bursting forth with vibrant hues and scents that perfume the air, takes your breath away; I am afraid the reality is far from that wish!

In all honesty, I believe that were God to write a testimonial about me, one of the first things He would say [remember, God cannot and will not lie]is that He knows I love Him! He would then insert the word sigh with an exclamation mark – conveying disappointment albeit with a measure of hopefulness. What would come next is His outlining the fact that although He has no doubt regarding my love for Him, He has serious concerns about my tendency to wander, into far off places. He would tell of my wonderful and good intentions, many of which remain just that, paving material for the road to…you know where…because of a tendency to bite off more…much more than I can chew and then wonder why my fatigue is more often mental and emotional than it is physical.

I believe that God’s testimonial would detail the struggle I have with being versus doing; that while I know in my heart that the more important action items on the to-do list of my life call for a way of being more so than it does constancy of doing, the latter tends to exert the kind of pressure that causes me to become bogged down with its demands…allowing the wishes, expectations and agenda of others to usurp God’s own and so the being gets pushed back, resulting in brain fatigue and camouflaged resentment.

I believe too, that because He is [the embodiment of] truth, God would also cite instances in which I have made him smile. Yes…He would recount examples of my earnestness in following after my Savior Jesus, even when it seems that I favor a journey more in keeping with a sprint metaphor than that of a marathon. He would perhaps say in closing that He is still willing to persevere with me…divine potter that He is, because He believes the image he sees, as He looks at me, can still be brought to life and light.

Mother Teresa is reputed to have said… “I am but a little pencil in the hand of a writing God.” I hear/see in those words, a challenge to be guided in all that I [can] do, by One who not only knows more than I, but to whom I must cede control of my very life, if the image of me God envisions, is to become reality.

So, just as the pencil must depend upon the hand of the writer to dictate and direct that which it produces, the same applies to you and me. We must let go and let God, so that His testimony of us, though it may not be of a pastoral scene in flowery perfection, will be written with a loving twinkle in His eye and just a hint of a smile, turning up at the corners of his divine mouth.

Well, until next week, continue to stay safe, as you remain in His grip.

Grace+