Greetings!

There is a lot on my heart this morning; I am not even sure exactly how to articulate or frame what’s there. What I do know however…of which I am convinced, is that the sum total of loss, grief, uncertainty and fear, that made itself known during the week past, is a real and present being, with which I must wrestle, until the light of divine presence, shatters the darkness of despair and my spirit is able to limp away, in and towards, the hope of liberating possibilities [cf. Genesis 32: 22 – 32].

Last week I told you that I sensed a sequel to the musings about my high school motto Carpe Diem. The truth is, in recent days I had to revisit those words more than once, as life happened, challenging glib pronouncements about faith and trust in God, with the reality of discipline…oh yes, the discipline needed to transform such utterances into God-honored living. Let me explain what I mean…

After much procrastination, as I stepped onto the scale, on one of last week’s mornings, my eyes connected with the figure that had built up over the last five or six weeks. To be sure, I had been feeling its insidious presence, but was somehow not able to engage that required for staving it off…along with its near relatives that had over time, taken up residence within the frame of my bodily reference. There was no one but myself to blame for this massive blow out which, translated into dollars, could with ease, pay off my credit card balance! The fact is, in as much as a disciplined approach is required in the handling of that plastic entity, to ensure that it serves good and not ill, so is it necessary to ensure the moderation with which I take in the sweetness around me, and prevent them reducing the space, earmarked for my health and wellness.

As I looked at the figure I remembered words that resonated deep in my soul, at the beginning of the year. I was reading an article by Ann Voskamp titled How to Actually Stop Procrastinating. In it she states… “Life is pain – and you get to choose: either the Pain of Discipline or the Pain of Disappointment.” When I pair those words with the essence of Carpe Diem, as we say here in Jamaica, yuh dun noa…my eyes brimmed with tears and I begin to walk slowly, through a mental valley, shadowed with despair, fearing every evil. I was experiencing the pain of disappointment, resulting from my indiscipline. So…what’s a woman to do, especially one who knows that attaining the highest good that is her spiritual birthright, will only be achieved by the pain of discipline?

Well, here’s what I believe and by divine enabling, will seek to enact. Perhaps you also, may find something that resonates…

• I will keep my heart open to God’s Spirit within me
• I will create moments of silence in which to be still before God
• When God’s Word comes to me, whatever its source or content, I will rely on Holy Spirit to help me respond in joyful obedience
• I will not berate myself if I fall off the wagon but by the Spirit’s enabling, will pick myself up and, trusting His goodness, declare in words supported by action…
• Nunc Coepi…Today I begin!

May this be for you, me and all who so desire, a week in which the sweet pain of discipline will override the bitter pain of disappointment.

Grace+